Slaying the Dragon of Trauma:A beast called sexual assault
Learn from Alexia Eller, LMSW, an EMDR therapist, crime victim advocate, and supporter of trauma treatment and effective trauma therapy.
Sexual assault is a beast all on it’s own. No matter which way you slice it, something is taken from you at that moment that you feel you can’t get back it. Your mind can race into many thoughts like these: “Why didn’t I see the signs before?”, “Why didn’t I try harder to fight back harder?” or “Why did this happen to me?”
The questions you have related to sexual assault seem to never stop coming and the aftermath of what you experience can take a toll on you mentally, emotionally, physically, and relationally with others. Others who love you or care for you may say things like “you’re not alone,” “this will get better” or something of that nature. You know you hear the words but you aren’t listening because over and over again it doesn’t change what happened.
But I do have to say coming from experience with this beast, you do not have to stay stuck.
You may see yourself as a victim or think the criminal justice system does, but you can become a survivor. Yes, some can do this on their own but you don’t have to and I don’t want you to. Therapy is a safe place for you to be brutally honest with what has happened to you, but remember that it doesn’t define you. When you are ready, therapists are here.
As I stated, sexual assault is a beast. Your family, friends, and/or significant other may want to help you, but they likely do not know how and that’s okay. They do not know the pain this comes with and you don’t want them to ever have to know. Go easy on those who want to care for you during your trying time and advocate for yourself on how you need support.
I want you to know that you are not alone, you may feel like it and it may appear that way but you are not. When it comes to the incident that occurred, some survivors categorize their life before the assault and after the assault and if you are not careful, you may feel the same. As I said, there are professionals and supporters here and ready to help you navigate this, but we can only help you when you are ready. Please, please do not wait so long that you have lived with this weight on your shoulders and before you know it, it has stolen many years of what could have been and caused more pain and turmoil than you can bear. It truly does not have to be this way. There are effective treatments for the trauma of sexual assault.
If you came across this post because you have been sexually assaulted, I’m sorry this post speaks to you and my heart hurts for you. However, I am glad it does so that you know you have someone in your corner who wants to guide you through this trying time and help you not give any more of your time and attention to your abuser. Please connect with a therapist like me, another therapist who can help you. We can create a treatment plan specifically for you and incorporate different therapy techniques to assist you in healing. Let us help you take your power back and give you peace back.
If you are not willing to see a therapist, that is okay. Here are some resources for you along the way: (Some are local to the DFW area that we serve and others are national resources.)
Women’s Center :job counseling, rape crisis
National Sexual Assault Hotline : 800-656-HOPE
One Safe Place : Domestic violence resources
By: Alexia Eller, LMSW
And if you are interested in learning more about trauma therapy services and how a trained therapist may be able to help you on your trauma recovery journey, we are here to help! Let our team partner with you in healing the wounds of trauma. We offer both english and Spanish therapy services. We have online therapy services available as well as in-person therapy options at our Arlington, TX-based therapy office.
