Taking on the Holidays: 7 steps to managing anxiety
As the holidays are fast approaching, many people experience anticipation building around specific events, travels, and gatherings. While this energy can be a fun, hopeful anticipation for many, for those suffering from anxiety, this type of energy and anticipation can cause an increase in anxiety symptoms. With 40 million Americans suffering with anxiety, you are not alone, but having a plan and a strategy to manage the anxieties is crucial.
Today we will take some time to discuss seven steps that you can take to have better control over your anxiety this holiday season.
Listen to the anxiety - Anxiety is a function of the fear response system of our brain and body. Cortisol is naturally produced as a stress hormone in our body and part of the protective features that are hardwired in our body to ensure safety. When anxiety arises, an aspect of our fear response system is engaged. This means that our body is responding to a threat on some level- be it real or perceived. Listening to our anxiety and understand the fear or threat that our body is responding to, can be incredibly powerful in understanding and managing this emotional response. Whether the thoughts or messages in the anxiety feel rational or irrational, relevant or irrelevant, it can be incredibly powerful to sit with the anxiety. Write out or list out all of the concerns that the anxiety is telling you related to an upcoming event, an upcoming season, or whatever the fixation point of the anxiety may be. This practice allows you to determine whether the fears identified is objectively true and something that we do need to offer good attention to as we work to ensure our safety, or whether the concern are based on a thought or experience that is no longer relevant, not likely to occur, or something that we can already plan to avoid. In the therapy office, we will often say that when we listen to a feeling, it will not need to yell quite as loud. Everyone wants to be understood, including our anxious feelings. So take a moment, listen to them, and see what they have to say.
Know your patterns- for most people, anxiety tends to have a pattern or theme, or course of action that the anxiety takes as it grows or builds surrounding an upcoming event or anxious fixation point. Knowing these general patterns, themes, frequent triggers, frequent thought patterns, etc., can be incredibly empowering in knowing when and where anxiety may be the strongest. Knowing the general pattern and themes of your anxiety can also assist in anticipating what you may experience and even predict how long that experience may last. So take the time to think through past holiday events, past social gatherings, past religious events, past conversations with specific family members, etc., and analyze anxiety in those events. See if you can identify the patterns to see what you can learn.
Make a plan— this step most certainly builds off of steps two and three above. Once you understand your current anxiety experience and the typical patterns of your anxiety experiences, it can be incredibly important to make a plan. When you were listening to your anxiety, if there truly was a threat or valid concern that the anxiety brought to your attention, it is critically important that you create a plan to address that need. That is a healthy use of the fear response system in our brain and body. A threat was detected, and we need to respond appropriately to protect the body, mind, and emotion. If you were able to identify some common themes or likely areas that anxiety may arise in step two, why not prepare and set yourself up for success in those areas? This is where some of the previously discussed boundary techniques may be applicable. Creating a plan is empowering, action-oriented, and honoring of the anxiety experience. The more power, choice, and action you can identify and exercise in holiday planning related to your anxiety management the more success you will have.
4. Create margin for your schedule- this step may feel the hardest for many people, while it seems the most simplistic. When we look at our calendars for November through January, it is so common that every weekend, multiple nights a week, every hour of major holiday weekends, etc. are packed to the brim with what should be fun and engaging activities, travel plans, holiday concerts, gatherings of various corners of our extended families, etc. When we think about adequate tools for managing anxious responses, though, this really can be quite problematic. We have to think about anxiety in terms of the cortisol response associated with it. Cortisol, that stress hormone in the body, is released during high-stress situations, and is metabolized through our body over time. If we are going from a high-stress situation to a high-stress situation or even a mild-stress situation to a mild-stress situation, that cortisol may not have the time to metabolize or work its way out of our system. This means that those small stress responses are likely building on each other. We need time between activities to give our bodies and brains the time to reset. That’s where intentionally building some margin into your schedule may be helpful. Think about these periods as “cortisol digestion” times. Just as we need breaks between meals, we need breaks between situations that may produce the body’s cortisol stress. Think about how you may be able to schedule your time, your week, and specifically those holiday weekends to create some margin, some downtime, some digestion time. Then you will be able to take on the next event with less pre-existing cortisol in the body.
5. Strategically plan for access to your coping skills- just as we want to plan for those anxious responses strategically, we can also arrange to have access to the skills and strategies that assist us in coping with those responses. Knowing your coping skills and your anxiety management techniques and strategically increasing your access to those skills and techniques can be vitally important. So before attending a holiday gathering, running full force into the holiday season, or attending one of those events that feel more uncomfortable, think through and even list out the coping skills that assist you and management with your anxiety. It can be anything from grounding skills to music, art, a pet, soothing teas or beverages, positive thoughts strategies, movement or exercise, sensory tools- whatever helps you stay grounded, objective, and feel in control in your situation. Then look at that list, and identify what you may be able to incorporate into each of the events on your calendar. Planning can ensure that you are not without access to your coping skills when needed. And if you end up not needing them, all the more success to celebrate.
6. Create an attainable goal or mantra that you have control over- It’s safe to say that there are many things that we cannot control in a holiday season, gathering, or family event. Things will turn out not as planned, conflict will happen, disappointment will occure, events will be canceled, weather will change travel plans, sickness will impact attendance and more. When addressing a situation that we know many unknowns or uncontrollable aspects exist, creating a goal, mantra, or desire that is within our control can help us feel as though it was successful even when the unknowns come up. So for example, a mantra might be “I am going to connect with those who are present and willing to connect” or “ I am going to find ways to laugh, to find joy, or be present in the circumstances that I’m in.“ When we define our goal with things that are within our power, we increase our success and feelings of accomplishment, satisfaction, or joy at the end of an event. Create an attainable goal that is dependent upon you, your perspective, and your actions.
7. Keep up your routine- Our bodies and brains thrive off of consistency, and holidays often bring inconsistencies into our schedules. As much as possible, keep up your routine in the ways that it works to help you manage your anxiety. Things like lack of sleep, inconsistent eating patterns, not drinking enough water, neglecting exercise routines, neglecting journaling or reading habits, etc., likely have a daily impact on the way that you manage and function in your anxiety responses. The more consistency we can bring to even inconsistent holiday plans and schedules, the more likely we will be able to function and manage anxious responses in the way we desire. No one has got emotional control when they have not eaten, not slept well, or cannot participate in some of their basic self-care routines and patterns. This is critically important when we are looking to manage something like anxiety, so in the ways that you can, hold to that routine that your body and brain are accustomed to, and see if you can set yourself up for more tremendous success as you take on this holiday season.
If you are struggling with anxiety, depression, mood dysregulation, addiction, trauma, stress responses, or general feelings of overwhelm, therapy is a great option to assist you in your journey towards mental and emotional health and wellness. Our team would love to partner with you as you work to find the best and healthiest you. We offer online therapy services, Spanish therapy services, trauma therapy, addiction therapy and treatment services, and more for children and adults, and teens. Feel free to reach out and learn how to connect with us in our Arlington, Texas counseling office or online for online therapy services available for all Texas residence.
