DBT Therapy Skills: Interpersonal Effectiveness
The topic of loneliness has been discussed and experienced by many in the midst of the COVID-19 Pandemic. This experience has given us insight into the importance of support systems and how it relates to our mental health.
What comes to mind when you think about a support system? People. What comes with people? Conflict.
Even the healthiest people have conflict. Although healthy relationships and conflict resolution may seem frightening or difficult to tackle, it is still possible to learn some tools to feel more confident in building healthy relationships. Conflict can help us to problem solve and become closer and build trust in our relationships. Healthy conflict resolution can also help us to feel more self-assured in our abilities to build and maintain relationships.
Having a healthy mental state will include having people in your support system, and building Interpersonal Effectiveness can assist in making and maintaining relationships. One must evaluate their conflict patterns to identify strengths and challenges. The acronym we will discuss is called FAST. If this acronym intrigues you to learn more about interpersonal effectiveness, stay tuned for the DBT therapy skills group at the end of this blog.
FAST is about maintaining self-respect, understanding your values, and becoming a role model for healthy relationships.
So let’s explore this acronym together
F = Fair: In past blogs, we have discussed mindfulness (observing our state of mind, non-judgmentally). Mindfulness is important in every DBT principle, including interpersonal effectiveness. This portion of the acronym reminds us to look at ourselves and others non-judgmentally. Utilizing Wise Mind is important to make sure you are not engaging in extreme behavior. Being fair is not about others needing to earn your respect, it is about treating others with respect in order to keep in touch with your own values, thus increasing your self-worth.
A = Apologies not needed: Do not apologize when it is not necessary. For example, don’t apologize for your personal beliefs, opinions, or values - it is okay to agree to disagree with others. When we over-apologize, with no reason to apologize, it decreases our self-worth.
S = Stick to values: Understanding and knowing your own values is key in relationships. Knowing your values can guide who you surround yourself with. Values allow you to know yourself and increase your self-worth.
T = Truth and accountability: Being honest with yourself and others is very important when it comes to healthy communication and relationships. Avoiding the truth may delay conflict and consequences, and it can build the conflict or consequences into something larger. Being accountable for yourself and avoiding excuses, exaggerations, and helplessness is very important in maintaining self-worth and healthy relationships.
Other important aspects of healthy relationships in DBT to discuss are boundaries, validation, conflict resolution, making friends, and trust. Healthy relationships help you to build and maintain self-worth and overall well-being. When we look at mental health holistically, it allows us to reach healthy well-being more efficiently.
By Leeann Martinez, LMSW, DBT-C
Want to learn more about DBT therapy? Our team is ready to help. There are many other topics and acronyms when discussing interpersonal effectiveness that will be explored in an upcoming DBT Skills group. Whether you are an adult or teen, there is a group for you! Teen groups are Tuesday’s 5-6 pm Virtually, 6-7 pm In-Person. Adult groups are Thursday’s 5-6 pm Virtually, 6-7 pm In-Person at our Arlington, TX based therapy office.
Resources:
Lane Pederson. Cortney Sidwell Pederson. The Expanded Dialectical Behavior Therapy: Skills Training Manual. Second Edition. 2017
