Talking to your Partner about Depression
Depression is one of the most commonly diagnosed mental health disorders. In fact, the World Health Organization estimates that depression impacts 5% of adults word wide (1). While we know that depression is incredibly common, the impact of depression on those who suffer from it and the relationships that they are in remain significant. Today we are going to take some time to discuss how to increase communication between those who are struggling with depression and those who are in relationships with them.
It can be incredibly hard to love and care for someone who is fighting through the symptoms of depression, but there are things that you can do to help and support.
Here are 3 things to consider in strengthening your relationships through depression
Answer the question: “What is depression like for you?”
One of the biggest challenges in relationships is a lack of understanding, and managing the symptoms of depression is no different.
For those experiencing depression:
For a spouse or partner to adequately and confidently support an individual depression, there has to be an understanding of what the depression experience is like for that person. These can be some vulnerable conversations, but it is incredibly important to take the time to explain to your partner, spouse, significant other, or those who love and support you, what your depression experience is like. This can include lists of symptoms, stories of the depression experience, or even movies, music, or other forms of art that may adequately depict aspects of your experience.
For partners of those who experience depression:
For partners of those struggling with depression, it’s incredibly important that you take the time to listen, ask for clarification, check for understanding, and ask further clarifying questions if there is an aspect of your partner’s depression experience that doesn’t quite make sense to you. It is important to remember that, you may not be able to relate or understand on every level what your partner is experiencing, but doing your best to empathize, understand, and relate in the ways that you can, can be a powerfully bonding experience for both of you.
Create a plan for how your partner can support you in the midst of a depression episode.
In the midst of a depression episode, it is very common that individuals with depression will want to withdraw, self-isolate, slip into less than healthy habits, and other potentially negative behavioral cycles. For most people, part of the depression management process includes participating in activities like connecting with those that they love, exercising, consistent eating habits, and other behavioral modification practices.
As the partner of someone struggling with depression, it can be very tempting to want to support and encourage positive behaviors during a depressive episode. For many partners, the encouragement of healthy habits, the support of healthy routines, and the practicing of coping skills together can be a very viable way for partners to support. There are also times that these encouragements can be perceived as pushy, and overbearing, and actually create frustration or separation in the relationship.
For those experiencing depression:
It is important that partners have a shared understanding of what types of things are helpful to encourage those positive behaviors and decrease the depression slide and what types of things may further exacerbate symptoms or negative self-talk. Creating clear guidelines for how your significant other may be able to support you, how many times is appropriate to ask, and what types of wording may be most helpful can be empowering to your partner and assist them in being an effective supporter for you as you manage her depression symptoms.
For partners of those who experience depression:
For partners of those struggling with depression, it is important to ask specific questions related to what types of encouragements are helpful and at what point these encouragements may cause frustration or other negative feelings. Respecting the boundaries of the person struggling with depression is also critically important.
Therapy can help on both sides of the depression relationship.
Professional help is available, and you and your partner are not the only ones navigating these waters together.
For those experiencing depression:
There are highly effective therapeutic modalities to treat and manage depression symptoms. Taking an active role in managing and treating your depression can be encouraging and uplifting to your significant other as they see and know that you are working hard to manage the challenging emotional responses that she may be experiencing. Therapy may also give you the opportunity to further explore how you might be able to communicate with your partner related to how they may be supporting you best, and give you both shared insights into the best practices for managing your unique depression.
For partners of those who experience depression:
For partners, there can be some residual elements of emotional distress that can come from the attempts of supporting a partner with depression. It is not uncommon for partners of those struggling with depression to face feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and challenging emotions within themselves as they are seeking to support the one that they love and care for. A therapist can be an important supporter for partners of those struggling with depression as well, as you may be able to address some of your own cognitive distortions, ways that you may be perceiving and understanding the situation, and ultimately work to address and support your partners progress from a place of emotional health within yourself.
If you, your partner, or someone that you care about are struggling with depression, depression therapy can help. Let one of our trained therapists partner with you in your journey towards health and wellness. Whether through online therapy, or in person at our Arlington, TX-based therapy office, we have options to help support your depression treatment needs.
